150 Funny Chemistry Jokes and Puns

– Chemistry Jokes –

It’s time to put down the books and beakers and read the greatest chemistry jokes that will make any scientific nerd laugh.

Chemistry Jokes

Most science buffs would agree that the best sort of comedy is clever humor, which is why amusing chemistry jokes and puns are so popular.

From funny atom jokes to insightful periodic table jokes, science buffs will enjoy this massive list of the finest geeky chemistry jokes as much as a well-executed chemistry experiment.

Here are some hilarious chemistry jokes and puns that are sure to make geeky joke fans laugh out loud.

Science Chemistry Jokes

1. Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.

2. Lose an electron? Gotta keep an ion it.

3. Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O too!” The second chemist dies.

4. We’d give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon.

5. Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

6. I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon on that one!

7. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!

8. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

9. What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

10. Does Anyone knows any jokes about sodium? Na.

Chemistry Puns

11. What did silver say to gold at the bar? “Au, get outta here!”

12. What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!

13. What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon!

14. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI!

15. I want to write some jokes about the periodic table… But I don’t think I’ll be in my element.

16. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

17. What was Avogadro’s favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

18. If you’re not part of the solution…you’re part of the precipitate.

19. What is the chemical formula for seawater? CH2O!

20. Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!

Chemistry Jokes

Science Puns

21. Does Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.

22. What did the atom say at the electron sale? “One cation’s trash is another anion’s treasure.”

23. Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are BeAuTi-Full.

24. What did the cat say after drinking methanol? “MeOH MeOH.”

25. Why was the DJ called DJ Enzyme? He was always breaking it down.

26. What did one acid say to the other? “You’re overreacting.”

27. What did their friends say when they found out oxygen and magnesium were dating? “O-Mg.”

28. How do you insult someone who’s good-looking? You’re so basic, you’re a 10 on the pH scale.

29. How often does a chemist need coffee? They need caffeine periodically.

30. What do you say when you run out of chemistry jokes? “I should zinc of new ones.”

Funny Pun Jokes

31. What do you call an acid with attitude? A-mean-o-acid.

32. Why shouldn’t you drink water while studying? It decreases your concentration!

33. Why did Avogadro love golf? He always got a mole in one!

34. What do you say when someone throws sodium chloride at you? “That’s a salt.”

35. Why are atoms not considered trustworthy? They make up everything.

36. Hey, want to hear a joke about potassium? …K.

37. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.

38. Why do chemists find it easy to work with ammonia? It’s pretty basic.

39. A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it.” The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”

40. What’s a sign of a bad chemistry joke? No reaction.

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Funny Science Jokes

41. What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? “HeHe.”

42. What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab? “Oxidants happen.”

43. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

44. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.

45. What do the other elements say about hydrogen? “He’s such a loner!”

46. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.

47. What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!

48. Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.

49. Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? Because it’s in the ground state!

50. Why is organic chemistry so hard? The subject has alkynes of trouble.

Funny Puns

Chemistry Quotes

51. What happened when carbon and hydrogen went on a date? They really bonded.

52. Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!

53. What did one charge atom say to the other? “I got my ion you.”

54. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

55. What do you call a clown in jail? A silicon!

56. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”

57. Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there’s no charge! Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!

58. Why do chemists like nitratesso much? They are cheaper than day rates.

59. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

60. Old chemists never die. Why? They just stop reacting.

Jokes that Make no Sense

61. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base!

62. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded.

63. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it’s pretty basic stuff.

64. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”

65. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? Because he got Avogadro’s number!

66. What did one charge atom say to the other? I got my ion you!

67. Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!”

68. What’s the dullest element? Bohrium!

69. The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty, but how does the chemist see it? Completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

70. A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender gives him a smile and says, “For you, no charge.”

Jokes that Make no Sense

Organic Chemistry Memes

71. Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

72. How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.

73. Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down!

74. Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? Because it’s in the ground state!

75. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

76. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

77. What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C?  Nothing, you’re perfectly 0K!

78. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!

79. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates!

80. Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

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Science Funny Memes

81. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.”OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

82. Why are chemists great for solving problems? Because they always have a solution!

83. A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. “For you, no charge.”

84. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.

85. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

86. H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed

87. Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!

88. If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they’d be alloys.

89. Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.

90. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it’s pretty basic stuff.

Science Memes

Tricky Chemistry Jokes

91. What do the other elements say about hydrogen? He’s such a loner!

92. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.

93. Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O too!” The second chemist dies.

94. What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him? That’s as-salt!

95. Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

96. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base!

97. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates!

98. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses here.” Helium doesn’t react.

99. What do you call a nonsensical felon? A silicon

100. Salt made a pun joke and it was Sodium funny.

Famous Chemistry Jokes

101. What is the chemical formula for diarrhea? (CO(NH2)2)2

102. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

103. The question at the interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time.

104. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!

105. What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

106. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

107. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety.

108. What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song? Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!

109. I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon on that one!

110. Make like a proton and stay positive.

Organic Puns

One Liner Jokes

111. If you’re not part of the solution—you’re part of the precipitate.

112. What did silver say to gold at the bar? “Au, get outta here!”

113. What was Avogadro’s favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

114. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded

115. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.

116. The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s a mad atom.

117. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.

118. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI

119. What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.

120. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

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Nerdy Jokes

121. What should you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

122. I think that angry flask completely overreacted.

123. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

124. Want to hear a Potassium joke? K!

125. My chemistry experiment exploded. It’s ok, oxidants happen

126. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U.

127. Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

128. Why can you never trust an atom? They make up literally everything.

129. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o Acid

130. I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

One Liner Science Jokes

Awesome Chemistry Jokes

131. Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

132. I wish to apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but I only add them periodically.

133. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

134. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!

135. Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!

136. If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they’d be alloys.

137. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

138. Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber? He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.

139. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walked into the bar? OH SNaP!

140. What is H204? It’s FOR drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch.

Famous Chemistry Jokes

141. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

142. What is the chemical formula for seawater? CH2O

143. H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed

144. What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

145. What did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph? Breaking up is hard to do.

146. It has been discovered that money consists of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy element. The proposed element name is Un-obtainium.

147. Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!

148. What did one titration say to the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

149. Why do hamburgers yield lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.

150. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.

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