Christian Jokes

200 Funny, Clean Christian Jokes You Could Tell in Church

– Christian Jokes –

There’s no better way to show your religion than with some clean Christian jokes that the whole family can laugh at. Here are some of our favorite Christian jokes for the family. 

Christian Jokes

Christians are inclined to describe faith as a holy, loved, personal, and important aspect of their life. Accepting what the Bible teaches, trusting in God‘s plan, and believing in Christ’s death and resurrection, after all, have a direct influence on how Christians live.

However, religion and the ideals that go with it may lend themselves to excellent, clean humor. These Christian jokes will make you laugh (and even shake your head) for what seems like an eternity.

The cheerful Christian jokes will have you sharing the peace and passing the laughs to others during church, not simply before Bible study!

Funny Christian Jokes

1. What did Jonah’s family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? “Hmm, sounds fishy.”

2. Salome has been treated unfairly throughout history. She was just a young woman with a lot of ambition who wanted to get ahead.

3. What does the Episcopal Church say in advance of a large gathering? “We’re going to have liturgy here.”

4. What did the doctor tell the child? Allow me to take a Luke.

5. Because they misheard us say “warship.”

6. Why were the people apprehensive about worshipping the Lord?

7. Where did Jesus go to get something to eat? Mt. Olive

8. What is the court’s favorite Bible book? Judges

9. What kind of boats do believers want to travel on? Worship and discipleship

10. What kind of car does Jesus drive? He needs four-wheel drive because the clouds are bumpy.

Clean Christian Jokes

11. When Mary found out she was pregnant, what did she say? “Oh, my baby.”

12. What is a missionary’s favorite vehicle? Convertible.

13. What is a mathematician’s favorite Bible book? Numbers

14. What did God have to say to Jesus? “I am your father, Jesus.

15. What did Sarai tell Abram while they were preparing Christmas dinner? “The ham, Abram!”

16. Which animal is Elisha’s favorite? She bears

17. Where can we find evidence that Jesus egged people in the Bible?“Take my yoke upon you,” He says in Matthew 11:29-30.

18. What was Moses’ wife, Zipphora, known as when she’d throw dinner parties? “The hostess with the Moses.”

19. What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Christler.

20. Why didn’t anyone want to fight Goliath? It seemed like a giant ordeal.

Christian Jokes

Christian Dad Jokes

21. What did pirates call Noah’s boat? “The arrrrrrk.”

22. What did David have in common with Hamilton? He wasn’t going to throw away his (sling)shot.

23. What did God’s people say when food fell from Heaven? “Oh man-na!”

24. Why did Boaz hate lying? Because he loved truth.

25. How are toddlers and those who attempted to build a tower to Heaven similar? They all babble.

26. Which king liked to do things on his own? Solomon.

27. Which Bible character was super-fit? Absalom.

28. What did Adam say when he was asked about his favorite holiday? “It’s Christmas, Eve.”

29. What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school? “I was told I’m supposed to walk by Faith!”

30. What do you call a Bible character who just pulled into church? A Parking Lot.

Christian Jokes for Kids

31. Why couldn’t the Israelites initially enter the Promised Land? It wasn’t the Pinky Promised Land.

32. What did Adam say to Eve as he handed her a garment? “Either take it or leave it.”

33. When the disciples sneeze, what do they say? Matthew!!!!

34. What did Joseph tell Mary? “Would you like to myrrh-y me?”

35. What time of day does Adam prefer? Eve-ning

36. Why is it that Jesus cannot wear necklaces? Because He is the one who breaks every chain.

37. What is a Christian’s favorite song to listen to while driving? “Jesus, take the steering wheel.”

38. To whom do mice pray? Cheesus

39. So, what did the Jew have to say to the Gentile? “I wish you were Jewish.”

40. What kind of lighting did Noah have onboard the ark? Floodlights

Jokes For Kids

Christian Jokes One-Liners

41. What time of day was Adam born? A few days before Eve.

42. What kind of vehicle does Jesus usually drive? A Christler.

43. What do we have that Adam didn’t? Ancestors

44. What did Adam say on the eve of Christmas? It’s the eve of Christmas!

45. What animal could Noah not have faith in? Cheetah

46. Moses, how do you make your coffee a man asked? It is Hebrewized.

47. When Zachariah and Elizabeth disagreed, what did he do? He delivered the silent treatment.

48. People waved palm branches as Jesus entered Jerusalem because they were fond.

49. What do you call a prophet who also happens to be a chef? Habakkuk.

50. Which minor prophet has become well-known as a result of cookies? Amos.

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Christian Jokes for Adults

51. Which of the major prophets’ books is the simplest to understand? Ezekiel.

52. The best way to study the Bible is to luke unto it.

53. Doing a miracle was Jesus’ favorite sports film

54. During the service last Sunday, the priest was stern. I was upset after church. I realized then that we had reached critical mass.

55. Shortening improves both sermons and biscuits!

56. Fast food is the only food that is permitted to be consumed while fasting because they are fast food.

57. Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”

58. Where was Solomon’s Temple located? On the side of his head.

59. How did Jacob cheer on his grandson? “You’re the Manasseh!”

60. What does the Episcopal Church say before a big gathering? “This is going to be liturgy.”

Gospel Humor

Christian Humor

61. What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.

62. When preparing for the Feast of Weeks, what did some disciples wonder? “How much is this going to (Pente)cost?”

63. How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulpit.

64. How would you rate Jael’s camping skills? Tent out of the tent.

65. What’s a Christian’s favorite card game? Eucharist.

66. What did the lawyer ask when someone started talking about God’s will? “Was it notarized?”

67. What size was the lumber that was made to build the ark? 2×2.

68. What’s a miracle that can be done by a complainer? Turning anything into a whine.

69. What do you call a prophet who’s also a chef? Habakkuk.

70. Which minor prophet is well-known thanks to cookies? Famous Amos.

Church Jokes

71. Who in the Bible had the greatest business plans? The prophets.

72. What did Zachariah do when he and Elizabeth had disagreements? He gave the silent treatment.

73. Which Bible character was the best musician? Samson—he brought the house down.

74. What’s a believer’s favorite fruit? Spiritual.

75. When someone needed a boat made, what did the people in town say? “We Noah guy.”

76. What did the family members say when asked who would say grace? “Grace.”

77. Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? EZekiel.

78. How did Paul greet his friend? “Give me Phi-lemon!”

79. What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”

80. How do you know Pharaoh was athletic? He had a court.

Good Humour

Good Christian Jokes

81. What’s loved by Noah and also most meat-eaters? Ham.

82. Why did Adam and Eve do math every day? They were told to be fruitful and multiply.

83. What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? “I’d prefer a house with no den.”

84. How did Joseph make his coffee? Hebrewed it.

85. How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have mass.

86. Who in the Bible knew the most people? Abraham knew a Lot.

87. How does Moses make his coffee? Answer: Hebrews it.

88. What time of day was Adam created? Just a little before Eve.

89. What’s the best way to study the Bible?You Luke into it.

90. Who was the best female finance lady in the Bible?Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet

Corny Christian Jokes

91. Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.

92. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson — he brought the house down

93. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks? Quackers.

94. Which Bible Character is a locksmith? Zaccheus.

95. Which Bible character had no parents?Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

96. What do they call pastors in Germany? A: German Shepherds

97. Did you hear about the 1-800 service they have for atheists now? You dial the number and it rings and rings but nobody answers

98. What do donkeys send out near Christmas?Mule-tide greetings.

99. Why do they say ‘Amen’ at the end of a prayer instead of ‘Awomen’?Same reason we sing Hymns instead of Hers!

100. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.

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Christian Funny Jokes

101. Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time? Yup. The Bible says the disciples were all of one Accord.

102. Why did God create man before woman? Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

103. Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?Answer: He didn’t want to split hairs.

104. What animal could Noah not trust? Answer: Cheetah.

105. Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? Answer: To get to the other side.

106. Which Bible Character is a locksmith? Answer: Zaccheus.

107. How do we know Peter was a successful fisherman? Answer: By his net income.

108. Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? Answer: They were using fowl language.

109. Why is David considered the best babysitter in the Bible? Answer: He rocked Goliath to sleep.

110. What do they call pastors in Germany? Answer: German Shepherds.

Christian Jokes

Dark Jokes

111. What is a missionary’s favorite kind of car? Answer: A convertible.

112. Who is the patron saint of poverty? Answer: Saint Nickeless.

113. What is a dentist’s favorite hymn? Answer: Crown him with many crowns.

114. Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? Answer: He was in ‘de Nile.

115. What is a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage? Answer: The Great Commission.

116. Why is Swiss considered the most religious type of cheese? Answer: It’s hole-y.

117. Why is Moses considered the biggest rebel in the Bible? Answer: He broke all Ten Commandments at once.

118. Why is Samson considered the best comedian in the Bible? Answer: He brought the house down.

119. Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy? Answer: The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing.

120. Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple? Answer: It’s a bird of pray.

Jokes about Religion

121. Who was the fastest runner in the race? Adam. He was first in the human race.

122. How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.

123. How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.

124. Who do mice pray to? Cheesus.

125. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it, obviously.

126. Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head.

127. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

128. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

129. How do groups of angels greet each other? Halo, halo, halo!

130. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David — he rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep

Comedy Jokes

Seriously Funny Jokes

131. Who was the first tennis player in the bible? Joseph because he served in Pharaoh’s court

132. What excuse did Adam give his children about why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home!

133. Who was the greatest moneyman in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

134. What do we have that Adam never had? Ancestors.

135. What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s Witness and a Unitarian? Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no apparent reason.

136. What kind of car does Jesus typically drive? A Christler.

137. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.

138. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Absolutely ruthless

139. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? He just knew there was something fishy about it.

140. Does God love everyone? Yes, but He prefers “fruits of the spirit” to “religious nuts!”

Christian Comedy Jokes

141. Why are atoms Catholic? Because they have mass.

142. If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb…Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

143. Why did the unemployed man get excited while reading his Bible? He thought he saw a job.

144. What’s so funny about forbidden fruits? They create many jams.

145. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? He only had two worms.

146. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was always standing on the deck

147. Did Eve ever have a date with Adam? Nope — just an apple.

148. How long did Cain dislike his brother? Answer: As long as he was Abel.

149. What do donkeys send out around Christmastime? Answer: Mule-tide greetings.

150. How do you make Holy Water? Answer: You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.

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Clean Jokes

151. Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible? Answer: He came first in the human race.

152. Why did the unemployed person get excited while reading the Bible? Answer: They thought they saw a Job.

153. What type of car would Jesus drive? Answer: A Christler.

154. Why is Abraham considered the smartest person in the Bible? Answer: He knew a Lot.

155. Where was Solomon’s temple located? Answer: On the side of his head.

156. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Answer: Ruthless.

157. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Answer: He knew there was something fishy about it.

158. What type of lights did Noah have on the Ark? Answer: Floodlights.

159. Where is the best place to get an ice cream cone? Answer: Sunday School.

160. What is a mathematician’s favorite book of the Bible? Answer: Numbers.

Amazing Humour

Very Funny Jokes

161. Why didn’t Noah go fishing? Answer: He only had two worms.

162. What do you call a Catholic service that’s especially important? Answer: A critical Mass.

163. What time of day was Adam created? Answer: A little before Eve.

164. What did God do to cure Moses’ headache? Answer: He gave him two tablets.

165. What did Moses say when he saw people worshipping the golden calf? Answer: Holy cow!

166. Why did the priest giggle during his homily? Answer: He had Mass hysteria.

167. What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? Answer: A father-in-law.

168. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Answer: A roamin’ Catholic.

169. Why couldn’t they play cards on the Ark? Answer: Noah was always standing on the deck.

170. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? Answer: It’s Christmas, Eve!

Religious Jokes

171. Why did the sponge go to church? Answer: It was hole-y.

172. How do you know that atoms are Catholic? Answer: They have Mass.

173. What is the best way to study the Bible? Answer: You Luke into it.

174. What did the pastor say to a man with Twitter addiction? -Sorry, I don’t follow you.

175. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

176. What excuse did Adam give his children about why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home!

177. Who was the best business woman in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter went down to the Bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

178. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson brought the house down.

179. What’s the best way to study the Bible? You Luke into it.

180. Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1)

Jesus Humour

Church Humour

181. Which Servan of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses broke all 10 commandments at once!

182. Did eve ever have a date with Adam? Nope, just an apple.

183. Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time? Yup, the Bible says the disciples were all in one Accord.

184. Does God love everyone? Yes, but he prefers “fruits of the spirit” to “religious nuts!”

185. Who was the first tennis player in the Bible? Joseph because he served in the pharaoh’s court.

186. What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings!

187. Who was the greatest investor in the Bible? Noah was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

188. If Mary is the mother of Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a giggle lamb?

189. Who was the great babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

190. How do groups of angels greet each other? Halo, Halo, Halo!

Bible  Humour

191. How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.

192. Which Bible character is a locksmith? Zaccheus

193. How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel

194. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.

195. What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds

196. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it

197. What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler

198. What do we have that Adam never had? Ancestors

199. Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of head.

200. Who was the fastest runner in the race? Adam was the first in the human race

FAQs about Christian Jokes

Below are frequently asked questions about Christian jokes

1. What it means to be a Christian?

Many people think that going to church occasionally or simply believing in God makes them a Christian. But the Bible presents a different perspective and definition of a Christian.

A Christian is someone whose behavior and heart reflects Jesus Christ. Followers of Jesus were first called “Christians” in Antioch.


2. What are Christian beliefs?

Christians are monotheistic, i.e., they believe there’s only one God, and he created the heavens and the earth. This divine Godhead consists of three parts: the father (God himself), the son (Jesus Christ) and the Holy Spirit


3. What are 5 Christian beliefs?

This is a discussion oriented Bible Fellowship. The 5 are: 1) Uniqueness of Jesus (Virgin Birth) –Oct 7; 2) One God (The Trinity) Oct 14; 3) Necessity of the Cross (Salvation) and 4) Resurrection and Second Coming are combinded on Oct 21; 5) Inspiration of Scripture Oct 28.


4. What’s the difference between Catholic and Christian?

A Christian refers to a follower of Jesus Christ who may be a Catholic, Protestant, Gnostic, Mormon, Evangelical, Anglican or Orthodox, or follower of another branch of the religion.

A Catholic is a Christian who follows the Catholic religion as transmitted through the succession of Popes


5. What was Jesus’s full name?

Jesus’ name in Hebrew was “Yeshua” which translates to English as Joshua.


6. What are the 7 characteristics of Christianity?

▸God

▸ Jesus

▸ The Holy Spirit

▸ The Bible

▸ Prayer

▸ Grace

▸ Community


7. Did Jesus have a wife?

“Christian tradition has long held that Jesus was not married, even though no reliable historical evidence exists to support that claim,” 


8. What is Jesus real birthday?

By the fourth century, however, we find references to two dates that were widely recognized — and now also celebrated — as Jesus’ birthday: December 25 in the western Roman Empire and January 6 in the East (especially in Egypt and Asia Minor).


9. Does Jesus have a brother?

Mark 6:3 names James, Joses, Judas (conventionally known in English as Jude) and Simon as the brothers of Jesus, and Matthew 13:55, which probably used Mark as its source, gives the same names in different order, James, Joseph, Simon and Judas.


10. What language did the Jesus speak?

Most religious scholars and historians agree with Pope Francis that the historical Jesus principally spoke a Galilean dialect of Aramaic.

Through trade, invasions and conquest, the Aramaic language had spread far afield by the 7th century B.C., and would become the lingua franca in much of the Middle East.


11. What happened to Mary Magdalene after Jesus?

Mary Magdalene’s life after the Gospel accounts. According to Eastern tradition, she accompanied St. John the Apostle to Ephesus, where she died and was buried.

French tradition spuriously claims that she evangelized Provence (southeastern France) and spent her last 30 years in an Alpine cavern.


12. Who was God’s wife?

God had a wife, Asherah, whom the Book of Kings suggests was worshiped alongside Yahweh in his temple in Israel, according to an Oxford scholar.


13. What is the oldest religion?

It is the world’s third-largest religion, with over 1.2 billion followers, or 15–16% of the global population, known as Hindus.

The word Hindu is an exonym, and while Hinduism has been called the oldest religion in the world, many practitioners refer to their religion as Sanātana Dharma


14. Who Wrote the Bible?

That single author was believed to be Moses, the Hebrew prophet who led the Israelites out of captivity in Egypt and guided them across the Red Sea toward the Promised Land.


15. Who created Christianity?

Christianity, major religion stemming from the life, teachings, and death of Jesus of Nazareth (the Christ, or the Anointed One of God) in the 1st century.


16. Who was Jesus father?

Joseph was a 1st-century Jewish man of Nazareth who, according to the canonical Gospels, was married to Mary, the mother of Jesus, and was the legal father of Jesus.


17. Where did Jesus get born?

Bethlehem lies 10 kilometres south of the city of Jerusalem, in the fertile limestone hill country of the Holy Land.

Since at least the 2nd century AD people have believed that the place where the Church of the Nativity, Bethlehem, now stands is where Jesus was born.


18. Who was the first person on earth?

Adam is the name given in Genesis 1-5 to the first human. Beyond its use as the name of the first man, adam is also used in the Bible as a pronoun, individually as “a human” and in a collective sense as “mankind”.


19. How was first human born?

The first human ancestors appeared between five million and seven million years ago, probably when some apelike creatures in Africa began to walk habitually on two legs.

They were flaking crude stone tools by 2.5 million years ago. Then some of them spread from Africa into Asia and Europe after two million years ago.


20. How old is the first human?

Scientists have unearthed the jawbone of what they claim is one of the very first humans. The 2.8 million-year-old specimen is 400,000 years older than researchers thought that our kind first emerged.


21. Who created the world?

According to Christian belief, God created the universe. There are two stories of how God created it which are found at the beginning of the book of Genesis in the Bible.

Some Christians regard Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 as two totally separate stories that have a similar meaning.


We hope this article on Christian jokes has been enlightening band fun. Please endeavor to share this article with family and friends.

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