260+ Corny Jokes | Funny Corny Jokes to Make Your Day

Gun dog dog on lead looking at sheep herd in rural location


-Corny Jokes-

Given that these cheesy jokes are pretty much supposed to be, well, stupid, finding good corny jokes is difficult. A corny joke, on the other hand, can make youngsters and adults laugh and genuinely be humorous if delivered correctly.

Corny Jokes

Corny Jokes for Adults

1. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father-in-law.

2. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

They crack up too easily.

3. When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar.

4. Why don’t you buy things with Velcro?

It’s a rip-off.

5. Why did the robber jump in the shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

6. What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A con descending.

7. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

8. What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line.

9. How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

10. Why did the kid stock up on yeast?

He wanted to make some dough.

Best Corny Jokes

11. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

Funny Corny Jokes

12. What kind of shoes do robbers wear?

Sneakers.

13. What do you call a man that irons clothes?

Iron Man.

14. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

15. How did the barber win the race?

He knew a shortcut.

16. What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

17. What kind of cheese isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese.

18. Where does the electric cord go to shop?

An outlet mall.

19. Why are frogs are so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.

20. Why don’t melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

21. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

Give me my quarterback.

22. What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

23. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?

Because he’s always lion.

24. Why were the fish’s grades bad?

They were below sea level.

25. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?

All of the fans left.

Corny Dad Jokes When you are Distressed

26. What do you call banana peel shoes?

Slippers.

27. What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

28. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his snack?

He was shellfish.

29. Why wouldn’t the poppy seed leave the casino?

He was on a roll.

30. What kind of music do mummies listen to?

31. What does corn say when it gets a compliment?

Aw shucks!

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32. Why did the robber jump in the tub?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

33. What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

34. What did the elevator say when it sneezed?

I think I’m coming down with something.

Corny Jokes

35. Why are elephants wrinkly?

Because you can’t iron them.

36. Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he got lost at C.

37. What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing. It waved.

38. How did the barber win the race?

He knew a shortcut.

39. Why can’t you trust duck doctors?

They’re all quacks.

40. What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

41. What runs but never goes anywhere?

A fridge.

42. What do you call a pile of cats?

A meow-tain.

43. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

44. How does a duck buy lipstick?

She just puts it on her bill.

45. What do horses say when they fall?

I can’t giddy up.

46. How do you impress a baker?

Bring him flours.

Corny Joke of the Day

47. How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?

With a cow-culator.

48. Which flowers are the best kissers?

Tu-lips.

49. What do sprinters eat before they race?

Nothing. They fast.

50. What did the cake say to the fork?

You want a piece of me?

51. How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?

By the bark.

52. What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

53. Why did the bike fall over?

It was two tired.

54. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Corny Jokes

Corny Jokes for Kids

55. Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse.

56. Whatdid the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

57. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?

He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

58. What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer?

“Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

59. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

60. What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

One requires treatment and the other an ointments.

61. Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage?

Because every play has a cast.

62. What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

Great Corny Jokes

63. What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest.

64. How did the dead brother and his dead brother resemble each other?

They were dead ringers.

65. Why are there gates around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

66. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?

Because it’s pointless.

67. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

68. Where can you buy soup in bulk?                               

The stock market.

69. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?

Mistle-toes.

70. What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

71. What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?

Namaste.

72. How do you tell if a vampire is sick?

See if he is coffin.

73. What do you call fake spaghetti?

An im-pasta.

Corny Knock Knock Jokes

74. Why did the farmer win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

75. When do computers overheat?

When they need to vent.

76. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

77. Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

78. What do you call a factory that sells good products?

A satis-factory.

79. What kind of music do planets like?

Neptunes.

80. What do you call a fish without eyes?

Fsh.

81. How do rabbits travel?

By hareplanes.

82. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?

Ketchup.

83. What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

84. How do you stop a bull from charging?

Cancel its credit card.

85. Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi.

86. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

If it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan.

Corny Jokes

Corny Jokes for Adults

87. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?

It’s making headlines!

88. What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

89. What was the frog’s job at the hotel?

Bellhop.

90. What do cows most like to read?

Cattle-logs.

91. Why did the photo go to jail?

Because it was framed.

92. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore.

93. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

For drizzle!

94. Why did the restaurant hire a pig?

He was good at bacon.

95. What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

96. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

97. Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Because their capital is Dublin.

Sarcastic Corny Jokes

98. What do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

99. What has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every day.

100. What’s that restaurant on the moon like?

It doesn’t have atmosphere.

101. What’s the best way to burn 1,000 calories?

Leave the pizza in the oven.

102. What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.

103. What do French fries do after a long time?

They ketchup!

104. Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have anty bodies!

105. What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?

Don’t look, I’m changing!

106. Where did the cat go after losing its tail?

To the retail store!

107. What tree can you fit in your hand?

A palm tree!

108. What flower do you have between your nose and chin?

Two lips!

Best Jokes that are Corny

109. What do you call when a cow jumps on a trampoline?

A milkshake!

110. What’s the world’s tallest building?

A library because it has the most stories!

111. My horse’s name is mayo. Because mayo neighs!

112. Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted!

Corny Jokes to Tell

113. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato!

114. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

Boo-boos!

115. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs!

116. What do you get when you cross a cactus and a pig?

Porky pine!

117. What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunder pants!

118. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

119. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

120. What is brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre…

121. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for school?

Bison.

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 Best Corny Dad Jokes

122. “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”

123. “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

That would be a big step forward.”

124. “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?”

 “In case they get a hole in one!”

125. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

 Then it’s a soap opera.”

126 “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?”

“They’re both Paris sites.”

127. “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?”  

“Sofishticated.”

128. “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?”

 “You follow the fresh prints.”

129. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”

“Pilgrims.”

130. “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”

Dad Joke

131. “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?”

“A satisfactory.”

132. “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”

133. “Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.”

134“What did the ocean say to the beach?” “Nothing, it just waved.”

135. “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?”

 “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”

136. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”

137. “How does the moon cut his hair?”

 “Eclipse it.”

Exciting Corny Jokes

138. “What did one wall say to the other?” “I’ll meet you at the corner.”

139. “What did the zero say to the eight?” “That belt looks good on you.”

140. “A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender. I’ll have one beer and a mop.'”

141. “Where do fruits go on vacation?” “Pear-is!”

142. “I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.”

143. “What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?” “Where’s Pop Corn?”

144. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland?”

 “I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

145. “What does a sprinter eat before a race?”

“Nothing, they fast!”

146. “Where do you learn to make a banana split?”
 “Sundae school.”

147. “What has more letters than the alphabet?” “The post office!”

148. “What do you call a poor Santa Claus?”

 “St. Nickel-less.”

Jokes Gone Wild

149. “I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.”

150. “Where do boats go when they’re sick?”

 “To the boat doc.”

151. “I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.”

152. “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!”

153. “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.” ( Corny Jokes )

154. “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”

155. “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”

156. “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.”

157. “Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!”

158. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”

159. “What did one hat say to the other?” “Stay here! I’m going on ahead.”

160. “Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.”

161. “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”

Best Dad Joke Puns

162. “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”

163. “What do you call a belt made of watches?” “A waist of time.”

164. “What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?” “Traffic jam.”

165. “What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?” “Prime mates.”

166. “What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” “A little hoarse.”

167. “Where do math teachers go on vacation?” “Times Square.” ( Corny Jokes )

168. “Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”

169. “What does garlic do when it gets hot?” “It takes its cloves off.”

170. “What’s a robot’s favorite snack?” “Computer chips.”

171. “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”

172. “Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.”

173. “What do clouds wear?” “Thunderwear.”

174. “Why are piggy banks so wise?” “They’re filled with common cents.”

175. “Why is Peter Pan always flying?” “He neverlands.”

176. “How do you get a good price on a sled?” “You have toboggan.”

177. “How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?” “By its bark.”

178. “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”

179. “It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.”

Funny Dad Jokes             

180. “What do you call a hot dog on wheels?” “Fast food!”

181. “Where do young trees go to learn?” “Elementree school.”

182. “Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.”

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183. “Can February March? No, but April May!”

184. “How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!”

185. “Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.”

186. “What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.”

187. “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.”

188. “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”

189. “Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”

Corny Parent Joke

190. “When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”

200. “I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”

201. “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”

202. “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”

203. “Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.”

204. “Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.”

205. “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”

206. “Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.”

207. “What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.”

208. “What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.”

209. “Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.”

210. “If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?” “An I Witness.”

Dad Smart Jokes

211. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

212. I always wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.

213. How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

214. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wa. Wa who? What are you so excited about?

215. Never buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.

216. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.

217. I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He’s a small arms dealer.

218. Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? He’s a fungi.

219. I’m on a seafood diet: When I see food, I eat it.

220. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

221. What did the snail riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeeee!

Smart Jokes for Kids

222. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

223. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now

224. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.

225. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

226. How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

227. Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.

228. Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered.

229. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!

230. Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

231. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

232. Where do pirates get their hooks? Secondhand stores.

233. Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, I’m only joking!

234. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.

Corny Halloween Jokes

235. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

236. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

237. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.

238. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

239. Knock knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us, so please open up.

240. How do you organize a space party? You planet.

241. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.

242. What do horses say when they fall? Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.

243. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?

244. Knock knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice joke get any worse?

245. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

246. What runs but never goes anywhere? A refrigerator.

247. What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.

Timely Corny Jokes

248. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me ( Corny Jokes)

249. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.

250. Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

251. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.

252. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iva. Iva who? I’ve a sore hand from knocking.

253. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

254. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

255. Why can’t you trust duck doctors? They’re all quacks.

256. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

257. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s pretty heavy and the other’s a little lighter.

258. What do you call a ghost’s sweetheart? A ghoul-friend.

259. The rotation of Earth really makes my day.

260. A termite walks into the bar and asks, ”Is the bar tender here?”

Dirty Corny Jokes

261. Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin.

262. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cher. Cher who? Cher would be nice if you opened the door.

.263. Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.     

264. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.

265. Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.

266. I just flew into town and my arms are so tired

267. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.

Frequently Asked Questions

This are frequently asked questions about things you might not have come across;

What Screams “I’m from Paris”?

A wonderful accent, very good food- breads and pastries, cheeses, wine, the list goes on. Good shoes. Tailored, fitted well- made clothing.

Is the American Flag Racist?

“When we Black Americans see this flag we know the person flying it is not safe to be around,” Black Lives Matter Utah wrote in a July. However, this doesn’t make it racist as it is a symbol of heritage of both black and white people.

Do you Think the US Navy’s “Crackerjack” Uniform Looks Stupid?

No, it is the uniform of a professional navy.

Why do Superheroes run Around in those Strange Outfits?

In the comics world, it makes sense for your character to have a garish outfit, it means they’re easily recognizable despite being drawn by different people.

Why are The Beach Boys Considered Un-cool by a Lot of People?

It’s not about the music. Some people like it, some people don’t, but that has no bearing on their cool. But they are definitely uncool.

Are Canadians more Fun to be Around than Americans?

I would have to say yes. Canadians have a better sense of humor, are more polite and typically don’t take themselves so seriously as Americans do.

Corny jokes are really popular in the music industry, it takes a very creative mind to craft out a piece of humor in a very artistic way.

We have put this compilation through for you so that you can entertain yourself anytime you are bored or have a need for a sense of humor.

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