Some Things you need to Know about Feeling Unlovable.
Feeling Unlovable: Unlike popular belief, it is not only singles that feel unlovable. A good number of people in active relationships still feel unlovable because of the quality of love and attention they are getting from their partners.
You will agree that it is not entirely a new thing since most persons have been at this phase and experience this during the course of our life. No one truly understands how this happens, but you can help yourself by understanding some critical things about feeling unlovable. We want to help you get back your confidence and view life in a more positive light.
Things to Remember when you Feel like you’re Unlovable
Your mind is in a Negative Place and That’s All: It’s important to remember that when you’re feeling unlovable, it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong or bad, it’s usually because you’re stuck in a negative mindset and you have to get out of it.
Having a Negative Mindset will bring all Good Things in your Life Down to a Negative level: Meaning if you’re feeling a little insecure, being too negative about it will make you feel unlovable. Don’t let your mind trick you.
There is Someone Special For You: When the time is right, your path will cross with someone who sees and appreciates your own special unique self. And that’s worth waiting for. How sad life would be if we chose to change ourselves for someone just so we could be with them. Be your best self, your true self, and live the life that’s important to you. Along the way, you will meet that special someone.
Nobody Important in your Life Thinks you’re Unlovable: Ask your parents, siblings, cousins, friends, or even your significant other. All of them clearly love you and therefore, you’re automatically lovable! Nobody important in your life thinks that you’re unlovable, and that’s a really important thing to remember when you’re feeling down. If they don’t think you are, then neither should you. Negative things other people say don’t matter. There is negativity everywhere. People feed off others’ negativity, and they try to make you feel bad so they can feel better.
Social Media Deceives: When you feel unlovable, the worst place to go is social media. Think about it. When you post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., you make life seem great. Your photos are posed, cropped, and filtered so that they aren’t reflecting reality. Others do the same. We tend to share the good things in life holding back the messy parts. Your reality will often not measure up to someone else’s fantasy.
There are more things good about you than bad: People seem to forget this the most when they start to feel unlovable, but it’s the most important thing to remember. You are more good than you are bad. Sure, you may have a few qualities that are less than great, but you have even more that are absolutely amazing. Don’t dwell on all the bad things when there are so many good things about you to think about and all of those good things are what make you lovable.
Comparing Yourself to others is Never a Good thing to do: Sometimes, you may start to feel unloved when you compare yourself to other people. You’re not as pretty, not as smart, not as whatever it is they are that you want to be. What you always have to remember is that you can’t compare yourself to someone else because you’re not them. Everyone is different and everyone has different qualities that make them unique. People in your life love you for YOU, not for someone you want to be.
Nobody is Perfect: We all know someone who seems to always know just what to say and do. But in reality, no one is perfect; we all have flaws. That doesn’t make us unlovable. In fact our flaws are what unite us, helping us realize that everyone makes mistakes. Learn to laugh at yourself when you mess up. Share your foibles. They make you lovable.
What to do When you Want to Stop Feeling Unlovable
Focus on Positives: Instead of dwelling on all of the negative aspects of your life, bring some positivity into it! Only focus on the positive outcomes that may arise from situations, and never let your mind dip into negativity. By keeping a positive mind, you’ll remove the negative fog that is making you believe that you’re unlovable. Always look for the good and never think about the bad.
Accept Who you are: Maybe feeling unlovable is coming from a place of not being happy with who you are. This can bring you into a negative headspace because you think you need improving. While everyone can improve themselves to be a better person, accepting who you are in the moment will help you realize that you are loveable. Loving yourself is the first step to relieving the feeling of being unlovable.
Surround Yourself with People who Love you: There are plenty of them. Believe me. You just have to seek them out and then keep them around all the time. Keeping people around you who love you will help you see that yes, you are lovable – and there’s the proof of it. Don’t be alone, and don’t be around people who put you down.
Being busy doing something you love can make it better: When we get in a negative mindset and start to think that we’re unlovable, we kind of give up on doing the things that make us happy. Our hobbies get left alone and we suffer in boredom. Just remember that when you start feeling this way, you should always do things that make you feel happy and things that you love doing.
Work Out: Physical exercises and work out sessions are great ideas when trying to boost your self confidence and morale. Working out has a way to make you feel good and proud of yourself.
You Need to Accept Yourself: We all get down on ourselves from time to time, sometimes so much that we feel unlovable. Everyone has that little voice inside that critiques everything we do, and sometimes that little voice is harsh. But the truth is you will be content when you accept who you are as a person and learn to love yourself. Turn off that negative banter and choose to focus on your positive traits.
Show Love to Others: We can only attract those things we find in our hearts and also do. We can’t receive if we don’t give. To be able to get love and attract people to us, we need to learn how to be more loving and showing love to other people.
Do Something Creative: You will end up feeling high and pleased with yourself if you can look back at the smart things you did. It can be furniture you created, a beautiful piece you wrote or a nice craft you made, these will surely raise your self worth.
Count Your Blessings: If you’re still feeling unlovable, stop and take stock of the blessings in your life. Do you have a good job? A place to live? Are you able to get out of bed each day? Some people can’t say yes to these basic necessities. Choose to look at life from a perspective of feeling blessed. Shoo away the negativity, and enjoy being you. There’s no one else exactly like you, and that’s a wonderful thought.
List off the things that YOU love about yourself every day: Wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and make a list of all the reasons you love yourself. Do this every single day and you’ll see that if you love yourself, you are automatically loveable
After going through all that and accepting the obvious truth; that you are special and nothing is wrong with you and the way you choose to lead your life regardless of public opinions and views, you are on your way to gaining the most out of life.