You’ll Surely Get your Ex-Boyfriend Back with these Tips.
Get your Ex-Boyfriend Back: It’s never easy to just walk away and ignore your ex, especially if what you had was true love. People may say it’s not moving on, but it’s actually you trying to get your happiness back and this is about the most important thing in life.
So don’t let anyone discourage you and try to make you feel low, if what you had with him was that good and you want him back, this article will really help you get your ex-boyfriend back.
You need to understand why exactly the relationship ended. Maybe one person hurt your partner in ways you couldn’t immediately forgive, through cheating or lying.
Or maybe the two of you just drifted apart and someone eventually cut a relationship that was already halfway dead.
Understanding those reasons will help you work out exactly how to get your ex boyfriend back.
You had Separate Aims: Maybe you and your Boyfriend disagreed on important things that he just couldn’t let go.
- Do you both want kids or don’t want kids?
- Do you both want to live in the same place in ten years?
- Do you both have similar career plans that won’t get in the way of the relationship?
- Do you both have similar visions of how you want your lives to pan out?
Disagreement on any of these points can be a major deal breaker, no matter how strong your love might be.
Your Relationship was not Clearly Defined: If you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, then you need to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. And fix any issues that lay at your feet. One helpful thing to do is to really think about what drives men in relationships. What does he actually want from you?
According to experts, men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else — or worst of all, someone else.
Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.
So, when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to be satisfied in a relationship. He holds back because being in a relationship is a serious investment for him. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and make him feel essential. How do you trigger this instinct in him? And give him a sense of meaning and purpose?
In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it. By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll not only supercharge his confidence but it will also help to rocket the next stage of your relationship to the next level.
The Relationship had become Emotionally Stressful: In a healthy relationship, both partners feel equal and happy in the relationship, and there is emotional weight involved.
Both partners have their own happiness and their own lives, and together they make each other’s situations better and more alive.
The real situation can be that your man feels he needs to give too much emotionally to you. Whether accurate or not, he feels that it has become his job to ensure your happiness.
Here are some things you may have done to make him feel this way:
- You believe that he owed you certain things just because you’re in a relationship
- You want him to know what you want without telling him, because you believe that a good boyfriend should be able to understand you better
- You’ve emotionally punished him when he didn’t perform the way you wanted him to perform, making him beg for your love or forgiveness
- You created an environment where he dreads you at times because he can’t predict if you’re going to be difficult or easy on a certain day.
We all want love, both men and women.
However, when the love in the relationship becomes outweighed by the responsibility to carry another person’s happiness, it slowly drains the value of the relationship until it makes more sense to leave it.
There was no Longer the Physical Attraction: It’s natural for men and women to let themselves go in a relationship. We don’t work on our physical appearance like we used to. And it’s not just about being physically attractive; we’re also attracted to partners who take care of themselves and respect their body and health. Losing physical attraction in a relationship can be difficult to deal with because the love might still be there, but part of what supports the love is gone.
He Lost Himself with You: In an ideal relationship the two of you empower each other. You make each other better versions of yourselves; you’re stronger and more complete together. The reality is that some men lose their sense of self or identity in a relationship. Men value their alone time and their man caves, and they need space away from the relationship to be with themselves.
When they feel that their partner is taking over too much of their lives, their spaces, and their overall sense of self, they can start to feel extremely uncomfortable. The result? They emotionally withdraw from you.
Here are some signs that this might be the case:
- You find it difficult to get him to open to you
- He doesn’t always want to introduce you to his hobbies or his friends
- He is shy to show certain parts of himself to you
- He has called you out for nagging him
- You’ve fought about “changing or fixing” him
For men, finding a partner who respects whatever boundaries they have is the most important part of finding a long-term partner.
Consider these few suggestions on ways you can lure your ex boyfriend back.
Do the Things you Use to when he First Fell for You: Remember back to when your ex boyfriend first fell in love with you. What was it about you he fell in love with? What state of mind and stage of life were you at when you got together?
Were you needy or did you have a life? Were you critical and negative or positive and happy about life? It’s common that when we fall into relationships we’re usually at point in our life that we “didn’t care” about getting into a relationship. We were just going about our life, doing our thing and suddenly we’re in a relationship.
At this point in time, you need to do what you can to return back to that mental state. Do things you enjoyed when you were single. Do things that made you feel good and confident.
Establish What Led to Your Breaking Apart and Possible Solutions: You need to analyze your relationship and figure out what were the main causes for the break up. The most common causes are:
- Lack of appreciation/lack of respect
- Acting needy and controlling
- Lack of communication
- Cheating/Lack of trust
- Lack of intimacy and connection
Look at what was missing in your relationship. Men are, for the most part, easier to satisfy than women. However, there are a few things that cause men to run, primarily when a woman acts too needy or controlling. Your ex boyfriend will have his own specific reasons, it’s best to talk to him or figure it out on your own what the issues were.
Make Him Initiate the Relationship Again: Men love a challenge. If you make it too easy for him to have you, he is going to lose interest quickly. Here’s some quick dos and don’ts to execute this properly.
Make him work to be with you. Just because you want him back doesn’t mean you should make it easy for him to come back. He needs to prove to you he wants to work on your relationship. That means taking things back to the “dating stage”. He should be asking you out on dates and you should take things slowly.
Continue to live your own life, pursue your own goals, go out with friends and live as you would single. You’re not “for sure” his girlfriend, so you’re technically “on the market”, go out, flirt with guys, have fun. Don’t allow him to see you moping around at home.
Delay getting back to him. If you normally respond back straight away, wait 2-3 hours before responding back. You shouldn’t be at his beck and call.
Compliment, praise and appreciate him. Men love their ego stroked. If you make him feel good every time he talks to you, he’ll start to become addicted to you and it won’t be long before he’ll want to get back together.
Don’t sleep with him unless you’re back in a committed relationship. He can’t “get a free ride” just because he’s your ex boyfriend.
Don’t rush back into a relationship. A big problem with getting back together with you ex boyfriend is a second (or even third) break up is extremely high. So you want to make sure you do it right the second time. Go back to dating, communicate a lot about what went wrong and how you can do things better the second time, court one another and build up the intimacy slowly. If you do it right the second time, it’s very likely your ex boyfriend could become your future husband
Don’t do what he wants you to do. Men will take advantage of the fact you’re still in love with him and get you do all kinds of things for him. You’re NOT his personal slave. Say “no” to him to remind him you’re “not his” and unless he’s your boyfriend, he definitely doesn’t deserve to be treated like your boyfriend..
Though there may not be strong guarantees that he will come back, it is worth trying and accompanied with the useful facts and strategy we have pointed out above, the odds are quite high and in your favour. Good luck!