-Rebuild Trust in a Damaged Relationship or Marriage-
Rebuild Trust in a Damaged Relationship or Marriage: The deed has certainly been done, the trust has been broken and everything is simply devastating; even with these, life has to move on.
Decide the Relationship or Marriage is Worth Fighting for: To be able to take all the challenges that will come with you trying to get back, you must be ready before hand to face them. It must be a conscious decision on your part to fight for it.
You need to be ready to do all it takes to achieve your aim. Decide how necessary it is that you and your partner should continue together mutually.
Let the Anger Go: Anger is a perfectly understandable response. There is nothing wrong with feeling anger when someone displaces your trust.
What can be wrong, however, is holding onto it. When you grip tightly to anger, it can cloud your vision and lead you to poor judgment.
To reach the roots, you need to first separate yourself from the anger so you can better assess where it originated. Releasing the anger will give you an open mind and free space to calculate and evaluate.
Swallow your Ego: Egos develop after pain as a means of survival or self-protection. If our heads overrule our hearts, in our matter of perception, we can protect our emotions. However, it can cause us to close ourselves.
When the ego is in control, you may want to resolve things with your partner, but you will not be able to do so. The ego prevents empathy.
Why should it be you that want to sort it out? Why do you have to suffer so much pain? These question bloat your ego and won’t let you take the necessary steps.
Display True Forgiveness: Accept what they have done, admit that this person hurt you and realize that they are sorry. Once you can accept the apology, you must forfeit your animosity, allowing this person to make it up to you.
Destroy it, don’t let it destroy you. If you cling to what hurts, it will prevent you from moving forward. There is no such thing as moving on from something you can’t let go of.
Prioritize Honesty: The focal point of your rebuilding plan should be honesty. All else should be established on the foundation of honesty. The most important thing we can do in any type of relationship is being honest with ourselves first.
Being honest with yourself can help you truly analyze who you are and what you want. You must do this to be willing to address your deepest needs, wants and expectations in your relationship. Encourage your partner to do the same.
Next is, to be honest with each other. What got you both here in the first place is dishonesty, which severely damaged your relationship. Honesty, at this point, is imperative. Like it or not, this all stemmed from something. Without truth, you won’t be able to define where.
No Victim, No Betrayer: To rebuild effectively, you two must refrain from playing the victim of betrayer cards. Yes, the fault came from someone, but to progress, we need to let all that slide while both taking responsibility.
Both parties must be on the same side, willing to put in the same amount of effort. If one person is more eager than the other or if more weight falls on one side, this may not work. You need to both be ready to ride this long road together.
Seek a Third Party: Though we might have the fear of exposure or incapability to handle our stuff, it is advisable that you get professional help. Sometimes it is hard to see past what is right in front of us.
Having a professional ear to listen to both sides of the equation is only going to benefit. This lends a hand to be a mediator being two opposing forces.
It allows you to hear what you may not be able to from your partner in a way you can understand. Counseling coming from an unbiased, well-educated person can provide you with the insight you cannot find otherwise.
It is actually your choice now to decide if you want to continue feeling sorry for yourself and your relationship or marriage or you want to grab the controls and steer things back on track. The road back will definitely not be smooth, but with the tools given above and with the proper mindset, it can be done. The ball is solely in your court.