Many of us don’t really like all that stress that comes with school work. We are not always that enthusiastic about going back to it. We can make the thought of going back to school less depressing with these funny school puns.
Don’t let all those pop quizzes burst your bubble.
School starts this autumn – make sure you don’t fall behind.
Hope nothing lessons your enthusiasm for going back to school.
You’re so bright, your teachers will have to wear shades.
I hope you find a group of friends who clique with you.
School Pun Jokes
These jokes about our school days are just cracking. We can all relate to how crazy school can be. Enjoy yourself with these great School puns and jokes.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly. “Correct,” says the teacher. The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts. “Correct again,” says the teacher. The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep. This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?” Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams, “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…”
A dad is very concerned about his son’s bad grades in math so he decides to register him at a Catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card. It shows he’s getting “A”s in math. The dad is, of course, pleased, but asks his son, “Why are your math grades suddenly so good? ”The son says, “When I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing… This place means business!”
A teacher says to her class one day, “Whoever answers my next question, can go home.” A boy throws his bag out the window. The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, “Why are you arguing?” One of the boys replied, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
The teacher is droning away in the classroom one day when he notices a student sleeping at the back of the class. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!” The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun had written a note, and stuck it on the apple tray. It read, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
A young boy goes into school one day and says to his teacher, “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” His teacher says, “Of course not.” The boy says, “Good. I didn’t do my homework.”
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up. The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he’s an idiot. The boy says, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”