150+ Science Jokes For The Hidden Nerd Inside You
– Science Jokes –
The best part about science jokes is the subsequent conversation. It just becomes funnier when students try to figure out the science behind the prank.
To laugh at some good science jokes, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist. In reality, there are so many science topics you may utilize for jokes, from the depths of the ocean to the stars above!
You might not know how many jokes the science-loving community has under its (asteroid) belt, from biology and chemistry to astronomy and physics.
If you have a scientific buff on your hands, telling them a few science jokes will show them that you understand them.
Funny Science Jokes
1. Why is it so hard to wake up in the morning? That’s because of Newton’s First Law – A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
2. Who is shorter than a biologist? A Microbiologist!
3. Biologists have discovered legs are hereditary. They run in your jeans!
4. Why do hurricanes have good vision? Because they have a BIG eye!
5. Why are astronauts always happy when they are in space? Because there is no gravity to drag them down!
6. Which fish is most afraid of dogs? Catfish!
7. How did the computer hacker get out of the jail? He found the escape key!
8. All the elements are sitting at the dinner table and neon says” Helium don’t eat too much! You’re gonna get fat!” Helium says ” No I’m not, I’m the second lightest here!”
9. Why did the spider buy a computer? Because it wanted to browse the web.
10. A teacher asks their class what is the molecular formula for water. A student replies HijklmnO. The teacher says no you’re wrong. Then the student says didn’t you say the formula was H to O.
Science Jokes for Kids
11. We really shouldn’t talk about mitosis…It’s such a divisive issue.
12. What did the elements say to hydrogen? What a loner!
13. What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium? HeHe
14. Guys, stop it with the puns. We’ve all sulfured enough.
15. Which stars wear glasses? Movie stars.
16. When life gives you mold, make penicillin.
17. What do you call the lights on a lunar rover? Moonbeams
18. What do solids, liquids and gases have in common? They all matter.
19. Why couldn’t the astronaut focus? He kept spacing out.
20. The name’s Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Science Dad Jokes
21.I’m a big fan of renewable energy!
22. Hand over the calculator; friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
23. One mouse to another: “Look at that fellow with a white coat on. Whenever I push the paddle, he starts writing something!”
24. Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.
25. Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
26. A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads, “Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-‘s.’ (Nitrates)”
27. Air resistance is a real drag.
28. How come noses run and feet smell?
29. Funny chemistry jokes always get a good reaction.
30. Absolute zero is so cool!
Science Jokes for Teachers
31. The cost of the space program is truly astronomical!
32. Einstein developed a theory about space — it was about time!
33. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
34. If a prince farts, is it a noble gas?
35. There’s a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
36. I don’t need a spine — it’s holding me back!
37. Organ donors really put their heart into it.
38. What did the receiver say to the radio wave? “Ouch! That megahertz.”
39. What did the dog say to his owner? “My favorite frequency is 50,000 hertz, but you’ve probably never heard of that.”
40. How many forensic scientists does it take to change a light bulb? It takes two — one to screw it in and one to check for fingerprints.
Science Teacher Jokes
41. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? Cloud nine.
42. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? “Try and be more PACIFIC!”
43. I make horrible science puns, but only periodically!
44. What is the least interesting element? Bohrium.
45. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!
46. What are the primary elements of a sense of humor? Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm
47. Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to 40 different countries and learned to speak seven languages? He was a man of many cultures.
48. They call me DJ Enzyme because I am always breaking it down!
49. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
50. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? Because he has no-body to go with!
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Computer Science Jokes
51. Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere? It made him feel like he was in his element.
52. What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!
53. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because it din’t have the guts!
54. What do trees like to drink? Root-beer!
55. What did one hungry plant say to another? I could use a light snack!
56. What do you call a snake that is 3.14 m long? A Pi-thon!
57. What do protons and life coaches have in common? They know how to stay positive!
58. If you’re not part of the solution—you’re part of the precipitate.
59. The proton is not speaking to the other proton; he’s a mad atom!
60. What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection? Is there antibody out there?
Data Science Jokes
61. Why did the scientist take out his doorbell? He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
62. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded!
63. What can run, but cannot walk? Water
64. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.
65. A piece of ice fell in love with Bunsen burner. “Bunsen my flame! I melt every time I see you”, said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied, “ It is only a phase you are going through”.
66. What did one decimal say to the number? “Did you get my point?”
67. Why do quantum physicists make bad pitchers? Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position
68. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon? It was full!
69. Why is electricity the perfect student? It conducts itself so well.
70. Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school? Because it already had a million degrees!
Corny Jokes
71. All mushrooms are edible. Some are only edible once.
72. Two blood cells met and fell in love. Alas, it was all in vein.
73. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!
74. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well from the minute they met.
75. Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!
76. The last words of a chemist? “… and now for the taste test.”
77. The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
78. What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium? CoRnY.
79. Which university did the hippopotamus go to study? Hippocampus!
80. Which fruit contains Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa!
Short Jokes
81. What gas never cries? Nitrous Oxide (Laughing Gas)
82. What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class? “Quark, quark, quark!”
83. What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service? Well, you’re not a very good host.
84. Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous? That’s how you become a black hole.
85. Why is the moon so broke? It’s down to its last quarter.
86. What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song? Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
87. Why is the spinal column so audacious? Because he’s got nerve!
88. What does a skeleton say before he eats? Bone appetite!
89. I’m fascinated by water’s gas form. It mist-ifies me.
90. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, Oceans don’t talk… they just WAVE!
Awesome Jokes
91. How do Scientists freshen their breath? With experi-mints!
92. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!
93. What do computers like to eat? Chips!
94. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!
95. What did is a nuclear physicist’s favorite snack? Fission chips.
96. Chemists are totally wild! Some drop acid and others drop the base.
97. What is a rocks favorite cereal to eat? Coco-pebbles!
98. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o Acid
99. What sound does a sub-atomic duck make? A Quark.
100. How does the nucleus communicate with the ribosomes? With the cellphone!
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Jokes of the Century
101. Where does criminal light end up? In prism.
102. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
103. I wanted to be an astronaut as a kid. But my parents said ‘Sky is the limit’.
104. How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity? Shocked!
105. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river
106. What did the thermometer tell the graduated cylinder? You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.
107. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great but there is no atmosphere!
108. Where did the chemist have his lunch? On a periodic table.
109. What is a chemist’s favourite carnival ride? A Ferrous Wheel
110. What runs faster: Hot or Cold? Hot, because you can catch the cold!
Jokes for Kids
111. How much room does fungi need in order to grow? As mushroom as possible!
112. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
113. How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space? On flying saucers!
114. A biologist and a physicist got married but got divorced soon after. There was just no chemistry.
115. Why don’t magnets have mates? Because they are polar opposites!
116. What is Research? Research is what you are doing when you don’t know what you are doing!
117. What does blood say when it’s trying to be optimistic? B Positive.
118. How do you throw a party in space? You planet.
119. What kind of music do planets dance to? Nep-tunes!
120. What did one ion say to another? I’ve got my ion you.
Funniest Jokes
121. What is an Astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard? Space Bar
122. Which type of books are the hardest to get through? Friction Books
123. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space? To see Pluto!
124. Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
125. What is the snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-Tory!
126. What was the first animal to go into space? The cow that jumped over the moon!
127. Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At the parking meteors!
128. What did one cell tell his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Ouch! That’s mitosis!
129. Why do plants hate algebra? It gives them square roots.
130. How do trees surf on the internet? They log in!
Cheesy Jokes
131. What did the positive charge say to the negative charge after their date? We have potential!
132. Biologists have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
133. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
134. If you buy one proton and one electron, then you can get a proton free of charge!
135. What kinds of books do planets usually like to read? Comet books
136. What’s a pirate’s favorite element? Aaaaargon
137. What did the Earth say to the other planets? You guys have no life!
138. What did the science book say to the math book? You have got problems!
139. What do you call the leader of a biology gang? The nucleus.
140. Why did the chemistry lab blow up? Oxidants happen!
Silly Jokes
141. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walked into his bar? “OH SNaP!”
142. What’s the best science? Geology — it rocks!
143. How do deaf mathematicians communicate? Through sine language.
144. Why did the amoeba cross the road? It was time to split.
145. What type of a dog do chemists own? A lab!
146. How do geologists ask each other out? They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
147. Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties? They were a formyl group.
148. Want to hear a chemistry pun? I am in my element!
149. What was the name of the first Electricity Detective? Sherlock Ohms.
150. How do we know Saturn was married more than once? Because it has too many rings!
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Chemistry Jokes
151. Why are chemists excellent at solving problems? They have all the solutions.
152. What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife? I lava you
153. What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs? Sorry for your sulfering.
154. What should you do when no one laughs at your science jokes? Keep trying until you get a ‘reaction’.
155. What kind of tree can be placed in your hand? A palm tree
156. Why did the firefly get bad grades at school? Because it wasn’t very bright!
157. Why did the cloud date the fog? Because he was so down to Earth!
158. A dung beetle walks into a bar and says, “Excuse me, is this stool taken?”
159. Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!
160. What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of herself? A cell-fie
FAQs about Science Jokes
Below are frequently asked questions about science jokes
1. What’s the funniest science-based joke you know?
▸ At what time of year does F=-kx not hold? Spring Break.
▸ How do you measure the Power of Music? In Joules per Meter.
▸ A plane did me a favor the other day. I’m glad it was so inclined.
▸ What do you call a Divinely Shaped Wave? A Sine from God.
▸ Poles show most Vector Fields Not Conservative.
▸ Your mom’s so fat, her moment of inertia lasts an hour!
▸ You’re a pre-med but hate chemistry. Do you Stop your major Orgo onwards?
▸ Scientists discover how to inhibit Stem Cell Differentiation. Don’t teach them calculus.
▸ How do you speed up your cat’s grocery shopping? Bring the cat-a-list.
▸ Don’t try to solve an inclined plane problem with quantum mechanics;
▸ It quickly slides out of hand.
▸ What should be the units for Intensity of Confusion? Whats per Square Meter.
▸ If Schrodinger’s Cat loses an electron, does it become Schrodinger’s Cation?
▸ Ash Ketchum on Mathematics, “i!/((i-u)!*u!) Pikachu!”
▸ Alan Turing after his visit to the United States: “Touring Complete!”
▸ Sir Isaac Newton on Aphorisms: “A moment of inertia costs a week of frenzy.”
▸ In what currency do you pay an Astrophysicist? Starbucks
2. Which are the best science jokes?
▸ Q: Why did the cloud date the fog?
A: He was so down to earth.
▸ Q: Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
A: They’re always working with solutions.
▸ Q: What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into another?
A: Sorry! My Fault.
▸ Q: What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service?
A: Well, you’re not a very good host.
▸ Q: How did the thermometer insult the graduated cylinder?
A: She said, “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
▸ Q: What will never go viral no matter how popular they get?
A: Antibiotics.
▸ Q: Why is so hard to wake up in the morning?
A: Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
▸ Q: Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
A: That’s how you become a black hole.
▸ Q: What did the science book say to the math book?
A: You’ve got problems.
▸ Q: What are the primary elements of a sense of humor?
A: Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm
3. What is the most scientific joke you’ve ever heard/read?
▸ I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
It was a trip down memory lane.
4. What are some funny chemistry or science-based jokes?
▸ Lose an electron?Gotta keep an ion it.
▸ Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
▸ I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.
▸ What do you call an acid with an attitude?A-mean-o Acid
▸ Why can you never trust an atom?They make up literally everything.
▸ Want to hear a Potassium joke?K!
▸ Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!
▸ Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
▸ My chemistry experiment exploded.It’s ok, oxidants happen
▸ I wish I was adenine.Then I could get paired with U.
5. What are some good jokes appropriate for young children?
▸ What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?A stick.
▸ What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?Thunderwear.
▸ Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?Dill with it.
▸ What time is it when the clock strikes 13?Time to get a new clock.
▸ How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience.
▸ What did one toilet say to the other?You look a bit flushed.
▸ What do you think of that new diner on the moon?Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
▸ Why did the dinosaur cross the road?Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
▸ Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?Because she will “let it go, let it go.”
▸ What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?A tuba toothpaste.
6. What is a good short chemistry joke?
▸ I use chemistry puns, but only periodically.
▸ Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
▸ Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
▸ How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?
▸ Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
▸ Salt made a pun joke and it was Sodium funny.
▸ Keep your ion the prize.
▸ I think that angry flask completely overreacted.
▸ Lose an electron? Gotta keep an ion it.
▸ If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
7. What are some great Computer Science jokes?
▸ Why was the new head IT official of IBM hospitalized? Because he didn’t know and accidentally touched the firewall.
▸ Why are the insurance and premiums of all app developers enormously high? Because they are always crashing down!
▸ What do you call it when one IT professional gets surgeries on his fingers? It is called tech knuckle support!
▸ Why are computers not good boxers at all? It is because their barks are always worse than their bytes!
▸ What does one computer drink when it goes to a bar after a very tiring day? They like taking screen-shots!
▸ Why was the new band ‘1023 MB’ extremely sad? Because since their formation, they haven’t had a gig yet!
▸ To which artist’s concert does one computer desperately want tickets? It obviously has to be A Dell!
▸ How did the good teacher know how to teach computer programming to the inpatient boy? He taught the kid about computers bit by bit!
▸ While visiting a zoo, which animal does a computer like watching the most? It definitely has to be a RAM!
▸ Why was the PowerPoint presentation so desperate to cross the road? Because he badly wanted to go the other slide!
8. What’s the best chemistry joke you’ve ever heard?
▸ What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!
▸ What did silver say to gold at the bar? “Au, get outta here!”
▸ What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon!
▸ Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.
▸ If you’re not part of the solution…you’re part of the precipitate.
▸ What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!
▸ What is the chemical formula for sea water? CH2O!
▸ Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!
▸ If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!
9. What is the funniest joke about a physicist?
▸ What’s a physicist’s favorite snack? Fig Newtons
▸ The two physics teachers aren’t speaking. Guess there’s a lot of friction between them.
▸ I find anti-gravity jokes to be incredibly uplifting.
▸ A witch and a physicist can make potions with motions.
▸ The facts about electricity might shock you.
▸ Wind got in trouble for resisting arrest.
10. What are some good kids jokes?
▸ What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?Thunderwear.
▸ What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?Bored games.
▸ What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?PRIME-mates.
▸ What do birds give out on Halloween?Tweets.
▸ Why was the weightlifter upset?She worked with dumbbells.
▸ Why are teddy bears never hungry? They’re always stuffed!
▸ What did the policeman say to his tummy? “Freeze. You’re under a vest.”
▸ What does one volcano say to the other? “I lava you!”
▸ What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends? Snapchat.
▸ What event do spiders love to attend? Webbings.
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